Before forming the final outline we had to decide on our target audience. The conclusion was that they should be female, 20 to 24 years of age who like suspenseful and dramatic movies. In this age women are experienced enough to understand the concepts of marriage and be aware of the dangers that may appear in a family with a wrong partner. It is also not too late for them to loose interest in watching thrillers and drama.
As a result of feedback from Mike and Matt our group had a series of discussions on development of our idea to form the detailed outline and the overall story-line. We included most of the given advise when constructing the final version, however there were several disagreements before we reached it.
To avoid inserting too much information into the opening scene, we suggested to end without introducing unnecessary action such as arrival of the police. We also discussed who should be our target audience and quickly agreed that they should be female, just over 20 years of age.
On 23rd of November our group pitched the idea in front of Mike and Matt, our Media teachers. We received the following feedback:
The woman needs to look more miserable. We have to present how angry and upset she is before showing the husband. She could have several bruises suggesting that she was abused. This will humanize our villain and enhance the shock effect when her victim is revealed.
Make the man move. He tries to escape by crawling to a door, but attracts her attention.She goes mad and drags him back to the dinning room.Such contrast between two parts of the scene will be effective.
Decide how she tied him up. If there was a struggle before she stabbed him, show some signs of a fight in the surroundings.
Keep it in one location. Although the man crawls into a different room, our main focus should be on the kitchen. Don't add too many details, otherwise it will look like you want to fit the whole film into the opening scene.
Cannibalism is a big overlap. If we want to keep it the rest of the story-line has to change, since it is unrealistic to take revenge on someone you know for a long time in such an extreme way. Choose between the stories of a psychic serial killer and of a wife who was pushed to committing a murder.
After completing the test-shoot, our group had to pitch the idea in front of Mike and Matt, two Media teachers. To do it we created a Power Point presentation explaining the project's content, requirements and the ways to achieve them.
On 16th of November our group filmed the test-shoot of a thriller opening scene. First we were worried that our idea breaches too close with horror, but on the screen it looked just right for the required genre.
The test-shoot duration is one minute sixteen seconds, that leaves us a lot of room for development. In the actual footage there will be longer, more detailed shots, cutaways and additional characters' movements. They will partly fill in the second minute. The pace with which the actions in the test-shoot took place was too fast, but this was due to shots' small lengths and frequent cuts between them.
The tension in the extract builds slowly as new details are introduced to the scene. First the audience feels uneasy watching the vegetables being cut and squashed. This feeling rises when the ambient sound of moaning is introduced and the woman increases the music volume to hide it. Another step up happens when her wounded husband is revealed, then another when she cuts his cheek and the stitches are shown. The climax of tension is the ending, when the psychopath fries a kidney in front of its owner.
The shoot was successful because it achieved its main goal: made our idea clear to the audience. The image of an injured and sewn up man, and of a woman preparing a meal with raw organs denotes that the rest of the movie is about a mentally disturbed killer. Her line "be quiet darling" and confusion on the man's face connotes that they are in a relationship. The plot is quite straight forward, so we could quickly convey the happening to the viewer. Another benefit was that we learned how to work in our group and communicate with one another. The filming process went well because all the members had their own tasks on the set; shooting, acting, or thinking of good camera angles.
Because of the limited time and multiple opinions it was often challenging to decide on the camera positions. I believe that overall the movement and angles we chose worked well, although they will need a lot more planning and development to reach the desired level. The first step towards higher standards would be creation of a storyboard and a screen-write on the detailed camera instructions. We filmed on a Cannon 80D camera and an iPhone 6, so there is a clear difference between some of the shots' qualities. This problem shouldn't repeat since the real opening is going to be shot on the same cameras.
We will add content to the opening scene to make it more subtle and engaging. For example it will begin with several shots from the outside, to build the suspense by presenting isolation of a house in the night countryside. We can show the rooms and mutual photographs of the characters to make the connection between them more clear and the further events more dramatic. Such supplements can promote significant improvements in the scene's appearance. The song we chose didn't work as well as intended, so more research will be done to find a fitting soundtrack. One of the variants is "Who's Loving You" by The Temptations .
After the test-shoot it was clear that the revealing moment of the husband has to be more effective. The way to achieve this shock effect is by expanding the build up and putting in a plot-twist. At first the audience thinks that she is innocent, so when she leaves the kitchen to get more ingredients or tools the following camera could capture a male figure in the background. After she returned to the kitchen the viewers could be shown bruises on her face and body, proving that she was a victim of the abuse. Then she hears sounds inside the house and grabs a knife as if to protect herself. She follows the noise until she finds her husband with tied up limbs and bleeding, attempting to open a door. At this point the roles of a villain and a victim switch, she drags him back to the position where the audience saw him earlier and returns to the kitchen to prepare his kidney for a meal. Although not all the group members agreed, there was a suggestion that cannibalism spoils the plot. Someone taking revenge in such an expressive way seems unrealistic. Media world already had multiple antagonists with the same feature, so using it once again seems unimaginative. Hopefully we will find a way to change this detail without offending anyone in the team.
Overall, the test-shoot was helpful in many aspects. It gave us a clearer understanding of what should be improved in our idea and how to work in a team. It also showed the difficulties that we will have to consider, such as clearing the filming space from strangers and collecting all the footage to one storage so it is easier to edit and we wouldn't loose parts of it.
On Wednesday, 16th of November our group filmed the test-shoot. We used an 80D DSLR Cannon and an iPhone 6 as our cameras. The location was Hurtwood's canteen.
Our group chose the idea of Darina Martynuyk, the story of a housewife who looses her sanity, murders and cooks her abusive husband. Originally the events supposed to take place in 1950s, the great era of sexism in the Western World, however we suggested to stick to the modern days not to over-complicate our task. The opening scene shows the disturbed wife listening to music and cooking. Her husband is then revealed, he is alive but tied up and a covered in blood. The scene ends with the woman frying a kidney, which belonged to her husband.
The actual filming location is a kitchen in a small house, preferably in the countryside. There are only two characters, a man and a woman both looking 30 years of age. The required props include vegetables and spices, tape, a record-player and a knife. For our test-shoot we used the school canteen, fruits and a spoon for cooking, toilet paper to tie up the victim. Dora and Aidan played the married couple. Other complexities; such as blood, stitches in Aidan's back and the kidney, were replaced by ketchup and a small box.
The day before shooting we distributed tasks: Dora and Aidan were responsible for the props and the filming space, Harriet and I were the camera crew. Although each member of the group ended up contributing to every aspect, this allocation of different roles made the process a lot more efficient.
Bells ring and the Canterbury Cathedral on the sunset fades in. We notice David standing on its rooftop, watching the colour changes on the horizon. He is truly happy. From the inside pocket of his jacket he takes out a small box and opens it, there is a wedding ring inside. He closes it and gestures, rehearsing to make a proposal. Filled with courage, he walks to the other edge of the roof and stands there leaning on a barrier, looking at the darkening sky and the quiet town. Suddenly, he hears approaching sounds of running feet and cries. A man runs out of the passage on the memorial court, David notices that he is injured in the right shoulder. A gunshot in the passage breaks the silence, there is a flash and the person falls on the stone floor, a pool of blood forms around him. David is shocked, but he keeps on watching. Another man comes out of the same passage, lowering a gun in his hand, and stands over the body.
Single strikes of bell ring from the bell tower next to David, the killer looks up and notices his silhouette. David takes cover, but it's too late. After a while he looks over the barrier to see the murderer walking inside the cathedral gates. David rushes to the exit, but it can only be opened from inside. He tries the floor hatch, it's locked. His only hope is to climb down the cathedral's wall and hide inside one of the bell towers. David takes off his jacket and fights the fear of height, when he hears footsteps running up towards the stair door.
David is a young psychologist teaching in the Kent College. He is in two years long relationship with Elise, they are deeply in love. David decides to make a proposal on top of the cathedral, their favourite place. During his preparations he becomes a witness of murder. The killer notices him, and although David manages to escape, Elise falls victim when she gets to the roof. David goes to police, they are unable to identify the killer and let him know that the investigation will be a long process. He is devastated, soon his sorrow turns to anger. The next night his house is raid by the same man, David is nearly killed, but the help comes on time. Raging about Elise's death, David suggests to set a trap for the persecutor and take his revenge.
From the four thriller ideas presented in the last post, I chose 3rd and 4th ones to show the class. Here is the feedback on them received from the students and Mike: Idea 3 - Don't put so much information into the opening To make it simpler, create a contrast and enhance the rest of the story-line, replace the idea of suicide with him preparing to propose.The further plot will become more dramatic, not only will the characters need to survive, but also to sort out relationships between themselves. - Think of a better way for the assassin to notice the character It is hard to notice someone so far away, the sign that gives away David should be bigger. For example a bell starts to ring once again, so the killer sees the silhouette as he looks up to the bell tower. - Develop the story-line Think more carefully about the rest of the movie. What is its beginning, development and the ending. Maybe it should be mostly from the killer's perspective, showing his search for David and avoiding police.
Idea 4 - Rethink the major story-line. Although the opening scene requires some work too, it's the rest of the movie that has to be developed first. Criminals need a stronger motive than a card game debt to search for the protagonist so long. Keep the idea of addiction to gambling and the quarrel taking place during a poker game, then add more serious reasons for trouble,maybe related to casino business. A good example is Layer Cake, the protagonist finds himself with increasingly serious problems and the climax scenes have the most action. - Make the opening more mysterious Don't rush into action after the slow and intriguing opening. The pace of skirmish should escalate, the tension grow, so build it gradually after the first two shots that kill the driver. Make his enemies barely seen in the dark, so David is under bigger pressure as they shoot at him. Reveal their appearances more as he starts to win the situation.
A girl is getting high on weed in a bathtub trying to forget something awful she was part of. We see fragments of her thoughts about what has happened, first it is a man smiling and laughing at a table, than a hand passing a business card. Soon the drug takes over, and under its effect the visions gradually start to become more clear and intense, although still being very short, there are features of violence, aggression. Some include herself, some reveal people in pain and needing help. After one of especially shocking visions she wakes up and sits up in the bath, tortured by her conscience. She gets out of the water and puts on a towel, she is high, the light seems brighter, she can't see clearly. As she walks out of the bathroom she sees their photo with her younger sister. Than she sees a quite big bag of marijuana lying near the glass balcony door, she slowly walks to it. Standing by it she looks inside a bedroom's open door, another vision of her having sex on this bed (with Tony). She is in guilt and despair, she opens the window to go on the balcony, tilting as she walks. She stands leaning close to the barrier, enjoying fresh air, and falls over its edge.
Jemma's younger sister Phoebe died after taking fake cocaine. To overcome the depression Jemma tried to smoke cannabis and soon got hooked. The events in the movie take place 2 years later, Jemma seemed to recover but her habbit for the drug stayed. She doesn't see it as a significant negative, since she does it only once a week without disturbing others. She works in Heathrow airport (something related to immigration and the boarder control). Her ex boyfriend and close friend Tony sells weed and deals to her with big discounts. One day he asks her for help; he wants to get a few of his friends from Vietnam and Eastern Europe to enter UK and work with him, but is scared of suspicion arising in the British airports. He wants her to be on duty at the time of their arrival and let them through with minimal inspection. Jemma agreed to do it for a free cannabis supply. In reality, she assessed human trafficking of these people, for slavery on the plantations. She soon comes to Tony for her first free package and shows interest in looking at the process of growing. Tony lets her in. She witnesses appalling conditions the new workers live in and the violence they experience, Jemma wants to help, but the next day is threatened by Tony that she also will be reveled to the police and that her family will be in danger. One time she comes back to get her free dosage she sees a big bag as the door is opened and recognizes the dead face of one of the trafficked. Under shock she comes back to her flat - the opening takes place.
Idea 2 We see high apartment buildings of London. Transition inside one of them, a man meditates in front of an open balcony. He is well built, he sits upright and with knees bent and under his body, smoke from the incense comes from the corners of the room. He can't fully concentrate on the practice because of disturbing thoughts about the past and the present, the visions gradually become longer and more clear, revealing violence which he saw and inflicted. The doorbell rings and he opens his eyes. He opens the door, there are three guys: "Roy wants to see you", he notices guns in the internal pockets of their jackets
David, a martial arts expert (mid 20s) comes back from Asia to London to be a teacher. Because of financial problems David struggles to make a living only by coaching. He starts to work as a bodyguard for the criminal figures. He hates it realizing that he goes against everything he learned and his life principles, but the conditions with money force him to continue. Dave's skills of combat and understanding of human mind quickly make him popular in this world; he is gradually given more dangerous and brutal tasks. He notices some of their consequences in his daily life, but closes his eyes on them due to quick recovery of his own life. One of them ends up in murder of his best family friend's daughter (she was a witness). He soon finds out and understands his responsibility. Being tortured by conscience he suggests to stop, but finds himself caught up. His boss threatens to reveal evidence of David's relations to all the crimes (including the murder) if Dave leaves. David goes back to his apartment and meditates to relief the stress and make the right decision. However, he has continuous visions of the murder of his friend's daughter and other suffering he inflicted. Meditation is disrupted by his boss's men, Dave refuses to follow them regardless of the earlier threat to show his guilt. They then suggest to force him to go by threatening with weapons and attempting to paralyze with a taser, Dave resists and neutralizes all three men, giving them away to the police afterwards. He then asks for help his other friend, a school friend who became a lawyer. The rest of the story line shows how they convict the related criminals with the use of David's knowledge and evidence on them, Idea 3 Canterbury Cathedral on the sunset, we notice a man standing on its rooftop. He is smoking and watching the colour changes of the horizon. After a while he puts out his cigarette, turns around and walks to the edge. He looks down to the ground and takes out a photograph of a young girl smiling. Something makes him very upset, more and more the longer he looks at it. In pain he folds it, puts it in the inside pocket of his jacket and climbs to stand on the barrier. It is now clear he is about to jump. In the moment of hesitation the cathedral's bells start ringing. The sound is calming, he is moved by it and looks up on the darkening sky above. He feels relief as the clouds pass and the stars begin to appear. His thoughts are changing. He brings his gaze down to view of the town and growing shadows. Suddenly, he notices a man running at speed across the memorial court. He looks closely and notices that the person's shoulder is bleeding. A flash and a gunshot come from the passage to the court, the man falls and bleeds on the stone floor, he is still. The earlier suicider is shocked, he keeps looking. Another man appears from the passage, his face is covered, a gun in the falling hand. He approached the body and looks around as he stands over it. The man on the rooftop stumbles absorbed by the event, he nearly falls down and lets out a short cry. The man on the court notices him. Realising the situation, our character jumps back to the rooftop and hides behind the barrier. Terrified he looks over it, the murderer is approaching the cathedral gate. The witness runs back to the door, but it can only be open from the inside. He tries the hatch on the floor, but is locked too. His only chance is to climb down the wall and hide in one of the bell towers. As he stands on the barrier, overcoming the fear of height, a running noise comes from behind to the stair door.
David, 24, has been in 5 years long relationship. On the day he suggests to make a proposal he finds out that his fiance had sex with another guy. She has been doing for ages, bored of him to death by now. Believing that they were in love, David doesn't see a better way out but kill himself. He goes up to the roof of their city's cathedral, but becomes a witness of homicide, just after he changed his mind. The rest of the storyline is about him trying to escape the killer, who was hired for the job, and save his ex whose photo was left in the jacket's pocket he took off before climbing to the bell tower.
Idea 4 Night forest, the moon and stars are shinning brightly. The camera goes through dense trees and bushes, showing the mud and water dripping down branches. It keeps moving forward when suddenly a pile of leaves starts to shuffle and is pushed down revealing a hole in a side of rise in the ground. A man is hiding in there. He is wet, dirty and cold, his breath condenses into vapour with each exhale. After cleaning his head and hands from soil and rubbing them together to give the fingers more flexibility, he reaches for a two barreled shotgun lying further in the hole. He checks the barrels and bends it as if preparing to load. There is a sound of an approaching car, the man becomes still and then starts to move leaves back to cover the hole. Two lights slowly move on the road behind the ground rise, lighting the area so it can be seen, the trees are casting it's shadows, the hiding man is not moving. After the car passes he takes out two rounds, puts them inside the barrels and closes the gun. Camera is inside the car filming the brightly lit road ahead, the vehicle is moving slowly staying to the right side of the road, close to the trees. There are three men inside, all armed. Camera goes back to filming through the front glass, suddenly two gunshots come from the darkness on the left; lethally injuring the driver. After he dies, the other two come out of the car, holding their guns ready and using the doors and sides for a cover. Camera is fixed behind the one on the left side from of the car, moving as he gets out a powerful flashlight and looks around. When he turns left the guy from the forest is seen in the light, a moment later both barrels are offloaded into the gangster, his body hits the car and slides down in blood and gore. The second thug turns to the sound and shoots a long burst in the direction of his enemy's movement. The frame cuts to the man in the forest, running to the side as bullets whistle and hit the trees near him. He finds cover behind a bump and wants to reload; no more ammunition is left. The gangster lost him out of sight and looks around in fear. He notices a bump in the red back lights of the car and moves towards it aiming. As he is about to look over its top the shotgun's handle hits him on the head. The main character beats him with it to death, then drops the gun and after a short rest searches the body. He finds a phone and dials walking to the car. A man picks up: "Hello?", the character feels relief and takes deep breaths: "Hello? (2nd time)", "Henry.... Get me out of here"
David is addicted to gambling, he spends weekday nights playing poker and baccarat. He lost many friends after getting in debt with them and showing this unhealthy interest. Not always being able to find partners for a game he started going to the underground clubs. One evening he made a very high bet, planning to leave before cashing in as he always did. He didn't know that one of the players was the local criminal, an egoistic, ruthless and sadistic character who took everything personally. The gangster finds David's house on the town's edge and gives him two days to get the money. Dave realizes that there is no way he would be able to pay the sum after he payed for the other debts earlier. He suggests to abandon the house. However his persecutors come back the same night and he has to run out in a rush, taking nothing but the clothes he was in and a bag with shotgun for clay pigeon shooting. For three days and nights the gangsters were searching for him in the area. Exhausted, freezing and hungry Dave is not scared by death as much and decides to take them on.
